Today is bad. It’s a very bad pain day for me. I woke up with my pain level sitting at a steady seven. For those that don’t know, I judge my pain on a scale of 1-10 that I learned while in the hospital post-wreck. I learned to judge my pain based on One (1) being my everyday pain level, Ten (10) being the wreck after they picked me up out of the road.
Seven is not good, to be honest. That’s where it really starts to exceed my ability to cope with it mentally and emotionally. With help from the hubby this morning, we’ve managed to get it down to about a six, which is still not good, really, but I’ll take it over a seven any day.
I am currently propped up in my chair with my table-desk pulled up to me and my feet propped up. Not where I intended to be this morning since we’re supposed to be having a cookout with the kids here today.
Dutch, my constant companion, is squeezed in next to me offering her own brand of love and support.
I messaged Mini-Me early this morning and told her that I didn’t think they’d want to come today. My pain level was bad. I was emotional and ill and couldn’t get around (which is part of what was making me emotional and ill, to be honest). The house was a mess, I was a mess.
I’m out of everything except ibuprofen, which doesn’t do much for my pain, and lavender oil, which helps when the pain isn’t this bad but doesn’t usually do much if I go over a high five.
After a while, she called her dad’s phone and he ended up putting her on speaker phone and gave the phone to me. Apparently, my youngest had some things she wanted to say to me.
Sometimes I forget that she’s not a child anymore. She’s almost 24 now and just as stubborn as her Mama sometimes.
She told me with all the love she could muster that I’m stubborn and that I’m overdoing it. That I need to slow down and sit down. She reminded me that I wasn’t supposed to be able to walk at all with my injuries (one of the first things they told me after assessing the extent of my injuries) and that while they’re so very proud of the fact that I got out of the wheelchair, that they would no less proud of me if I sat my ass down and took it easy sometimes and let them help me.
It hit home, coming from her.
Tough love from my youngest.
I think it’s time for me to take a small step back and let this girl come into her own. I’ve raised her till now and now she’s trying to show me that she learned something from me. I need to give her the chance to spread her wings and fly.